I have been gaining weight, slowly but steadily, for a few years now; of course, I gained a lot of weight when Aurora was born...sadly, that weight never really left! Between Lorelai and Celeste, I was able to lose almost all the weight I gained in my first pregnancy. After Celeste was born, I lost all but ten pounds, which hung around stubbornly and never seemed to get the message that I wanted them to leave. And after Aurora was born...sigh. Let's just say that a lot of weight (around 20 pounds) took up permanent residence.
The weight has been piling on, bit by bit, over the last four years. At the end of every year, I'd find myself another 3-5 pounds heavier than I was at the same time last year. It was getting downright discouraging. I was starting to grow out of my pants, and thinking about going another size up in jeans was pretty depressing. I was feeling the weight, and seeing it in my face and in my body when I looked into the mirror. I told myself that it was inevitable; I had officially become a "woman of a certain age," and my metabolism had downshifted dramatically. I thought it was time to start looking ahead to middle age and large shapeless dresses.
But at some point this summer, I decided I'd had enough, and I was ready to make a change. I don't know what prompted that feeling, exactly; maybe it was all my tight pants, or my sagging belly, or my fear of wearing a swimsuit in public. Maybe I just felt like my body needed better habits, and I was tired of feeling worn out and weighed down all the time! I was also inspired by some local friends of mine, who had been counting their calories on a computer program called MyFitnessPal for several months running. They had lost a lot of weight in the process!
Knowing myself the way I do, I knew that an "intensive weight-loss plan" wouldn't work for me. Physically it would wear me out, and psychologically I would probably give up before too long. I know lots of people on MyFitnessPal who try to stick to 1,200 calories a day, plus exercise. I took a look at that number and realized I couldn't do it. Maybe that realization makes me a huge wimp, but I needed a "slow and steady" approach to weight loss. That way, I wouldn't be "dieting," per se...I'd be changing my habits.
As my baseline on MyFitnessPal, I chose 1,470 calories a day, plus 30-minute exercise three days a week. Not a huge change from my current habits, but just enough that I thought it would nip some of my more gluttonous days in the bud. On that schedule, the website calculated that I'd lose about one pound a week. Fine by me...just so long as I was losing weight!
I started the program in mid-July. The first few weeks were a little difficult, as I adjusted to making all the food entries on the computer and got a little shocked by how many calories were in some foods I liked. I decided to stop eating after 9 pm every night, to give my metabolism time to catch up. Earlier that year, I'd made the switch from margarine to butter, in an attempt to go more "natural" with my food (I don't really have the budget to eat a lot of organic food, but baby steps, right?).
When school started again for my kids in the fall, I was able to resume my exercise swap with my friends (generally, we take the summer off, since doing it with all our kids home is usually impossible). We were also able to add one additional person to our exercise group, bringing our total number to five! Being able to work out four days a week instead of three has been a nice extra boost for keeping fit and sweating off the pounds.
Progress is slow. I have had setbacks, backsliding, and "bad days." In fact, with the holidays almost upon us, my weight loss may come to a halt for a little while. But overall, it is working!!
But enough with the vanity. I am also grateful for MyFitnessPal because it forces me to question, every day, just what I intend to eat, and whether or not each food I eat is really worth it. I have started to admit to myself that I eat too much sugar, and often too much fat as well. Doing this program has helped me be a little more creative in the fruits-and-vegetables department. It's also given me the strength to say no to desserts more often. I have actually noticed my body adjusting to the new schedule, and actively rebelling (via indigestion, etc.) when I have a moment of weakness and binge on the unhealthy, over-processed foods. My body actually wants more of the good stuff than it used to...and that is really nice to realize!
Of course, I still do have a craving every now and again for something sweet. The best part of this weight loss has been realizing that I don't have to give up ice cream, or candy, or any goodies. I just have to eat them more rarely, and in smaller doses. Doing that makes them all the more delicious! I still have a little dessert once in a while (I tend to relax my standards a bit more on weekends), but I find myself not wanting to eat as much as I used to. I am perfectly satisfied after less "bad food." It is encouraging to know that my body is adapting these good habits as well as my mind!
In recent months, Nathan has been inspiring me as well. After years of stopping and starting exercise routines, he's actually hit upon a routine he really likes, that is working for him. Three mornings a week, he goes running with his friend Gavin. He is running intervals, which means he shifts from walking to running and back in a specified pattern every few minutes. It's supposed to be good for your heart. In the months since Nathan has started doing this, he's lost a few pounds. He has a lot more energy and enthusiasm for daily activities. He is feeling better about his health than he has in a long time. He's also considering starting MyFitnessPal in time; perhaps if he does, we can support each other.
It is tedious sometimes to count all my calories every day, and super-analyze my diet. But for me, at least, it is a program that is working. Hopefully it will continue to work for a while! I also hope to keep exercising; I know that exercise and eating right combined are what's spurring this weight loss. It's such a trite, almost cliched bit of health advice ("eat less and exercise!") but it really does work, if you commit yourself. I haven't even felt that deprived or hungry most days! Perhaps a little gnawing "dissatisfaction" at times, but that's about as bad as it's ever gotten for me.
In this month of Thanksgiving, I am very thankful to have found this desire to get healthy, and I am thankful my body is finally shedding some pounds it's been carrying for years. I am thankful I'm not afflicted (yet!) with any chronic illnesses, and I hope I can properly appreciate this season of good health. Hopefully keeping myself fit and thin at this point in my life will help me better prepare for certain elements of aging down the road. Even if not, I hope the discipline I am developing here will help me fight and overcome other health challenges as they inevitably arise.
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