Lorelai Is Now Twelve: This Girl Will Be A Woman Soon

As I briefly mentioned in my last post, my oldest daughter Lorelai turned twelve years old this summer. With all the preparations for the Tucson Temple dedication, it was hard for her special day to not get overwhelmed. In fact, because her birthday fell on a Saturday this year, Lorelai had entertained hopes that she'd be able to have her birthday party on her actual birthday. Unfortunately, the timing of the youth cultural celebration made that dream impossible. But even if our celebrations on her birthday weren't that extensive, I think we still made a sufficiently big production out of this milestone age.

 

August 12th was a crazy date for our family this year, as I may have mentioned in my last blog post. However, we still managed to get everybody up at a decent hour and dig into Lorelai's presents.

 

 

Present-wise, we didn't get any big, major items...just a few small things that we knew she'd appreciate...including some nerd gifts, like this Harry Potter T-shirt and this Skyrim necklace!

For a few weeks, Lorelai had been repeatedly asking for "waffles with strawberries & whipped cream" for breakfast. While we all find those foods delicious, it is hard to prepare such an fancy breakfast on a school morning. But I got up early the morning of her birthday and decided to treat her. She was very pleased.

We also lit a candle and sang a song; her "full" birthday cake would come at her party a week later. Sadly, her birthday celebrations with the family had to end at this point in the day; we had to prepare everyone for the temple cultural celebration that was taking place on that very day.

Luckily, our ward's thoughtful Young Women's president brought dozens of beautiful cupcakes to celebrate with the youth of the ward. Lorelai was flattered to be remembered in the midst of all the other important goings-on.

I've already spoken at length about the cultural celebration and the temple dedication. Lorelai had a good time at both those events, but also felt that her birthday was "postponed" a bit due to all those things. We scheduled her birthday party for the following weekend; to say that it was "overplanned" is a bit of an understatement!

Originally, I thought the party would be simple enough; Lorelai wanted a "late-over," with pajamas and everything. Unfortunately, the pajama clause meant none of her male friends would be invited. Then, I thought we could add some fun "Minute To Win It" style challenge games, a movie, a gift exchange, and a dinner to the party. And then I got really ambitious and told Lorelai we would make a "mystery dinner."

A mystery dinner is where you give each guest a menu with everything written in code (including drinks, cups & silverware). Each guest has to fill out their entire order form ahead of time; then, the guests receive their meals one course at a time, with everything they ordered, no matter how badly the items clash (for example, a guest may receive spaghetti, a spoon, and ice cubes for one course; then lemonade, a fork, and pizza for the following course; and so on).

It was an idea that was lots of fun in planning, but very tricky in execution. There were a lot of girls here (twelve girls all around twelve years of age) and they were all very loud. To further complicate things, I was the only adult at home that night...Nathan was out until late in the evening! (In the long run, this was probably best for his sanity; I think he would have lost his patience with Lorelai's birthday crowd). And worst of all, our oven decided to stop working that morning...and, my car was in the shop for repairs that entire morning. It was a horrible confluence of events that left me unable to complete my cooking and unable to travel anywhere to get extra help.

Luckily, I have wonderful helpful friends. My next-door neighbor Jodie let me cook Lorelai's birthday cake and multiple dinner courses in her oven. And Lara, a mother of Lorelai's friend Addison (and a very busy woman in her own right) agreed to come and help serve up dinner for all the girls. Celeste and Aurora were helpful too (they agreed to act as waitresses), but I could not have effectively plated & served so many different, complicated food orders without the help of another adult. Lara left soon after dinner, but I was incredibly grateful for her short time there; it made a big difference to my sanity!

The girls were all laughing and having fun throughout the dinner, and they had more fun afterwards playing the Minute To Win It party games. Theses games were very silly but fun to participate in, from trying to eat a cookie off your forehead (without using your hands!) to target practice with ping-pong balls, to wearing pantyhose with a tennis ball stuffed inside from your head and using that to knock down pre-arranged targets on the floor.

It was absolute madness, but it was enjoyable madness. At least the girls all seemed to be enjoying themselves. After I (finally) managed to calm everybody down, it was time for our "white elephant" gift exchange (where every girl brought an unassigned gift, and each girl took turns picking out of the pile of unmarked presents in the middle.

Lorelai ended up with a few unique presents of her own, including this crutch (!) from her friend Anileah, who has tastes & interests almost as bizarre and inexplicable as my little girl's. Lorelai had been at Anileah's house recently and enjoyed playing with the old crutch. She was genuinely thrilled to be getting it as a present!

 

The only big disappointment for Lorelai regarding this party was that she was sick the day of the party! She had missed school the day before, and was still in recovery mode when everyone showed up. She did her best to be a good sport and still had fun, but I could tell she was very tired; she was glassy-eyed and stared off into the distance for long stretches of time. She was relieved to go to sleep when it was finally all over. We had contemplated moving the party to another day, but weren't sure if it would work, given our busy schedules. All in all, I felt a little bad hosting a party when the birthday girl was sick; hopefully Lorelai won't remember her discomfort, and only the fun, as the years go on.

After the gift exchange, everyone (finally) settled down, and watched the movie Into The Woods, occasionally singing along to the music! I was left trying to clean up the house for the rest of the night; these girls had made quite a mess! Overall, the party was a success, but I discovered this age group is truly exhausting, and I will be totally fine with not having another 12-year-old party for a while! They are big enough to make a lot of noise and have a lot of energy, and not quite mature enough to keep their drama in check. I'm not sure if I will survive being a mother to three teenage daughters.

The party wasn't quite the last part of the birthday celebration, though...Lorelai hit a few milestones at church as well. She was awarded the Faith in God award, for completing the Primary program, and she was officially recognized as a member of the "Beehive" class (twelve- and thirteen-year-old girls) in the Young Women's program. It is so hard to believe that I have a daughter in the church's Young Women's program now. It is a great program and I think she will really enjoy it, but I can't believe she is so mature and grown-up now. We are so proud.

One of the most exciting birthday presents for Lorelai was her first trip to visit the Tucson Temple as a patron. She received her limited-use temple recommend, which means she can now perform temple baptisms. For her first visit, Nathan and I attended with her; we were her "dates."

I can't describe how happy I was on this day. Attending the temple with one of my children was an amazing spiritual experience; I hope this visit will be the first of many for Lorelai, and I hope we can visit with her many more times in the future.

Twelve is an age that brings some big changes in a kid's life. In most places, boys & girls are considered able to babysit outside their homes once they turn twelve (in fact, Lorelai had her first-ever paid babysitting gig just a couple of weeks ago; our friends asked for her help and she did a great job!). It's also the age when kids leave the Primary program in our church and enter the youth program. Many people consider twelve-year-olds "teenagers." I don't think I'm quite ready to make that commitment yet; to my relief, Lorelai doesn't seem to consider herself a teenager yet either. And yet, things have definitely shifted in her life in ways that are subtle and complex.

We are still trying to figure out how to deal with some of those changes in a normal, healthy way. She has definitely been moody, withdrawn, and contrary in recent months; she's also been hard-working, responsible, giddy, and ambitious. It is hard to know how to treat Lorelai sometimes; she seems to change dramatically from day to day. I remember how turbulent early adolescence can be; I am afraid for her almost constantly sometimes. I remember being very lonely, scared, and depressed at times. Lorelai sometimes shows signs of feeling that way, but more often she has been in the ironic position of comforting me. She is sure to tell me she loves me frequently, and lets me know that she "has a good life," as she puts it. I am humbled by her desire to cheer me up; I can't believe I have a kid with such a level head. I hope she will keep it as she heads ever closer to adulthood, and I hope I can teach her everything she needs to know, and help her in whatever she needs.

A June Filled With Murder, Mystery, and Sun-Baked Cookies

Our June was filled primarily with Tucson Temple-related events. However, we did manage to fit a few other fun activities into the month...especially a big birthday party! (More on that in a minute.)

First, a brief rundown of some things the girls and I did together:

Swimming

Isn't that what everyone does lots of in the summer? My kids seemingly never get tired of our clubhouse pool. It hasn't changed much over the years, but it is undeniably refreshing in the hot, hot summer. This year, we discovered a delightful new way to enjoy our community's pool...by visiting it in the evening!

 Usually we visit the pool in the daytime, but a few friends of ours swore that "night swimming" was the way to go. We tried it once and ended up going in the evening several times this summer! The pool is less crowded, it's cooler, it's well lit, and (best of all) we didn't have to worry about applying sunscreen!

Donut Eating

June 2nd is National Donut Day, as my Facbook friends kindly reminded me. To celebrate, a lot of businesses were offering free donuts. Usually, however, those donuts came with some strings attached (like purchase of a drink or another item). Not Krispy Kreme, however...they offered their donuts free to all! Even though the nearest store was a fair drive away, I decided to hop at the chance and take the girls to a Krispy Kreme store for the very first time.

The line (as I expected) was pretty long! However, the line passed right by a large window into the Krispy Kreme kitchen, where the girls were entertained by watching hundreds of donuts made as we waited.

 

Mmmm....donuts. Enough said!

Caving

Thanks to a coupon I purchased, the girls and I took a summer visit to Colossal Cave. The kids went last summer without me, but they graciously agreed to go again so I could check out all the cool rock formations one more time.

We had a very cool wildlife sighting just before we entered the cave on our tour; we saw a coatimundi hanging out just down the hill from the cave's gift shop! They are apparently pretty rare in North America, so it was a cool treat to see one.

This fella (no idea if it was male or female) was taking its sweet time munching on some food and moseying around; it didn't seem to care that several people were whispering, pointing, and aiming cameras directly at it. This coatimundi had no fear of humans; that was a good thing for us, so we could see its cuteness up close!

"Natural" Baking

As you probably know, dear readers, June in Arizona is hot. Dang hot! in the middle of the month, we were hit with a particularly nasty heat wave; for several days, the daily high temperatures were at 110 degrees or higher. It was exhausting just to think about going outside; even the pool didn't sound all that appealing. So we decided to combat the boredom somewhat by conducting a few food experiments.

On one hot morning, I decided to see if there was truth in the expression, "You could fry an egg on the sidewalk!" Since our sidewalk was dirty & covered in dog hair, I decided to fry our egg in a frying pan...but using only "natural" heat.

We put the egg outside between 7:00 - 8:00 am. I put the lid over the pan to keep away bugs. I think the lid may have accelerated the cooking process.

I checked the egg once after about an hour and a half. It looked lovely! The yolk was probably pretty soft, but I like my yolks pretty hard so I left it outside. Then, after getting distracted by other things, I checked on the egg again after three hours had passed.

That egg was overdone! The whole thing was hard, rubbery, and definitely inedible. But it was still amusing to have seen it cook outside!

The next day, we got even more ambitious...

 

...we put several pans full of chocolate chip cookie dough outside. We were hoping to have some "naturally" baked cookies by the evening!

To mix things up a bit, I also put one pan inside our car on the dashboard. I thought the more intense heat in the dashboard might speed up the cooking. But we ended up driving the car around a bit that day, so the temperature fluctuations ended up damaging the baking process.

Yes, we drove on the highway in our van while cookies were "baking" on the dashboard. Edgy!

We were very excited to see the results of these cookies. In the end, the results were...interesting but kinda gross.

 

The cookies did bake, but not very thoroughly; they were hard & crispy on the outside, but fairly mushy and undercooked in the middle. Worst of all, though, I forgot to spray the cookie sheets with non-stick spray, so all the cookies had a faintly metallic aftertaste. Yuck. We still enjoyed this experiment, and maybe we will try it again next year (with some adjustments) if we get stuck in the middle of a similarly miserable heat wave.

But even though all these mother-daughter events were lots of fun, the "main event" in June (at least from a social perspective) was Nathan's fortieth birthday party. I had thrown a big "taste-test" party for my fortieth birthday back in October; now it was Nathan's turn to plan his own party! His birthday is May 23rd, but since that falls right at the end of the school year, we decided to delay the party by a couple of weeks to let things die down a bit. To celebrate this milestone, Nathan decided that he wanted to throw a murder mystery dinner party! He had participated in several of these parties when he was younger, and he thought it would be lots of fun to try with several of our friends.

Murder in Margaritaland

 Nathan found an online company that sells murder mystery dinner packages, with a large variety of themes, plots, and contents. These parties could also be customized, based on the number of people involved. Nathan narrowed his focus to just a few themes; one was a 1980s-style class reunion; another was a "flapper"-style 1920s party; and then there was Margaritaland, an unspecified tropical resort. Nathan finally settled on the Margaritaland package, mostly because he loved the dinner menu and because we both thought it would be easy to find decorations!

 

I spent much of late May & early June raiding our local dollar store for any party decorations I could find. The timing for this type of party was fortuitous; the store was overflowing with "summer party"-themed decorations, and I may have overdone it a bit. There were serving dishes & plates, banners, sunglasses, candles, paper plates, silverware, napkins, tablecloths, wall hangings, centerpieces, and more.

Nathan was a bit surprised at all the stuff I bought...but he had to admit that the house looked great once everything was up.

 

We catered our dinner from Mama's Hawaiian BBQ, a delicious restaurant in our town. We got pulled pork, coconut shrimp, teriyaki chicken, macaroni salad, rice, and more. We also made a few of our own appetizers, including ham & pineapple skewers and barbecue meatballs. Nathan also had a coworker custom-make one more entree, Spam musubi, which is basically Spam prepared sushi-style! It was not the most popular item, but it was cool to have it anyway.

Since we were ostensibly all visitors to a place called "Margaritaland," it made sense that there would be drinks available to our "guests." Our party package came complete with pages of recipes for mixed drinks that could be prepared from home. Luckily for us teetotaling Mormons, there was a whole subsection devoted to non-alcoholic drinks, so we were able to get in on the fun!

Best yet, two of our guests volunteered to mix all the drinks for us! Our next-door neighbor Steve was given the "bartender" character, and he really took to his role. He even bought a professional cocktail shaker along with him! For about an hour, he patiently mixed drinks for all the other guests, while staying in character and cracking wise throughout. Another guest, Jasmine, whose character was listed as the "bar manager," was very helpful as well, mixing many drinks on her own. Nathan and I were so very grateful that Steve & Jasmine helped us out at dinnertime! It was a little hectic hosting a party like this and it would have been very very hard to focus on the drinks on top of our other duties.

Another great helper was none other than Lorelai, who insisted at being present for the party. We sent Celeste & Aurora to friends' houses for the night, not wanting any kids underfoot. However, Lorelai (who attended a murder mystery dinner of her own last year) was very excited to see how it would all turn out. She promised to help out in whatever we needed if she could stay. She ended up being our greeter, photographer, and part-time cocktail waitress. She had a blast (and very much enjoyed wearing her dollar-store coconut bra around for the evening!).

 

 

 

 

 

It was so much fun for all of us to see the cool costumes everyone came up with. Most people got to wear goofy Hawaiian shirts, leis, or surfer clothing, but other characters (such as a millionaire, a lottery winner, and a policeman) came in suits or uniforms. Our friend Lindsey was given the character of "tattoo artist," so she brought along a bunch of temporary tattoos for everyone (featuring My Little Pony characters, naturally!).

 

 

Dinner went very well; everyone was in character, sharing their ambitious as well as their grudges and fears. I admit to being terrible at these kind of activities, but I was having a lot of fun trying to figure out everyone's motivations.

And then...tragedy struck! Steve, our beloved next-door neighbor/bartender collapsed "dead" at the party! He had been poisoned!! But by whom??

 

 That was what we all had to spend the next hour figuring out (well, except for Nathan, who accidentally spoiled himself while preparing the paperwork for the party).

In the end, we all ended up feeling a little sheepish...no one correctly guessed the murderer's identity! (It was our friend Scott, who was playing the "alcoholic" life guard). We had all had so much fun following all the many love-triangle subplots that we missed the significant blackmail plot sitting in front of our noses. Oh well! It was a slightly disappointing finish, but we all had such a great time participating anyway.

After concluding the "mystery," we ate our delicious homemade desserts; a "margarita" cake (flavored with margarita mix; yum!), and some coconut cream bars. They were both amazingly delicious and amazingly fatty.

This party was a lot of work to put together, but it turned out very well and we were so happy. All our guests also seemed to be enjoying themselves, too (at least we hope they enjoyed themselves! At any rate, they were too polite to tell us otherwise). We are so grateful for the many wonderful friends we have made in our years of living in Sahuarita. They are a great blessing in our lives and we are lucky to know them, have fun with them, and be inspired by them. We probably don't have the energy to do a party like this again until either Nathan or I turns fifty, but we were happy to celebrate Nathan's fortieth with a bang. Here's to a wonderful year for us both!

Post-Script: We had such a great time putting up the decorations that we left them hanging up for a few weeks! We ended up hosting a Moana movie party for a bunch of the girls' friends, and the decorations felt very apropos. But after that, it was time to clean house and get ready for our big family vacation at the end of June!