Lorelai Is Now Twelve: This Girl Will Be A Woman Soon

As I briefly mentioned in my last post, my oldest daughter Lorelai turned twelve years old this summer. With all the preparations for the Tucson Temple dedication, it was hard for her special day to not get overwhelmed. In fact, because her birthday fell on a Saturday this year, Lorelai had entertained hopes that she'd be able to have her birthday party on her actual birthday. Unfortunately, the timing of the youth cultural celebration made that dream impossible. But even if our celebrations on her birthday weren't that extensive, I think we still made a sufficiently big production out of this milestone age.

 

August 12th was a crazy date for our family this year, as I may have mentioned in my last blog post. However, we still managed to get everybody up at a decent hour and dig into Lorelai's presents.

 

 

Present-wise, we didn't get any big, major items...just a few small things that we knew she'd appreciate...including some nerd gifts, like this Harry Potter T-shirt and this Skyrim necklace!

For a few weeks, Lorelai had been repeatedly asking for "waffles with strawberries & whipped cream" for breakfast. While we all find those foods delicious, it is hard to prepare such an fancy breakfast on a school morning. But I got up early the morning of her birthday and decided to treat her. She was very pleased.

We also lit a candle and sang a song; her "full" birthday cake would come at her party a week later. Sadly, her birthday celebrations with the family had to end at this point in the day; we had to prepare everyone for the temple cultural celebration that was taking place on that very day.

Luckily, our ward's thoughtful Young Women's president brought dozens of beautiful cupcakes to celebrate with the youth of the ward. Lorelai was flattered to be remembered in the midst of all the other important goings-on.

I've already spoken at length about the cultural celebration and the temple dedication. Lorelai had a good time at both those events, but also felt that her birthday was "postponed" a bit due to all those things. We scheduled her birthday party for the following weekend; to say that it was "overplanned" is a bit of an understatement!

Originally, I thought the party would be simple enough; Lorelai wanted a "late-over," with pajamas and everything. Unfortunately, the pajama clause meant none of her male friends would be invited. Then, I thought we could add some fun "Minute To Win It" style challenge games, a movie, a gift exchange, and a dinner to the party. And then I got really ambitious and told Lorelai we would make a "mystery dinner."

A mystery dinner is where you give each guest a menu with everything written in code (including drinks, cups & silverware). Each guest has to fill out their entire order form ahead of time; then, the guests receive their meals one course at a time, with everything they ordered, no matter how badly the items clash (for example, a guest may receive spaghetti, a spoon, and ice cubes for one course; then lemonade, a fork, and pizza for the following course; and so on).

It was an idea that was lots of fun in planning, but very tricky in execution. There were a lot of girls here (twelve girls all around twelve years of age) and they were all very loud. To further complicate things, I was the only adult at home that night...Nathan was out until late in the evening! (In the long run, this was probably best for his sanity; I think he would have lost his patience with Lorelai's birthday crowd). And worst of all, our oven decided to stop working that morning...and, my car was in the shop for repairs that entire morning. It was a horrible confluence of events that left me unable to complete my cooking and unable to travel anywhere to get extra help.

Luckily, I have wonderful helpful friends. My next-door neighbor Jodie let me cook Lorelai's birthday cake and multiple dinner courses in her oven. And Lara, a mother of Lorelai's friend Addison (and a very busy woman in her own right) agreed to come and help serve up dinner for all the girls. Celeste and Aurora were helpful too (they agreed to act as waitresses), but I could not have effectively plated & served so many different, complicated food orders without the help of another adult. Lara left soon after dinner, but I was incredibly grateful for her short time there; it made a big difference to my sanity!

The girls were all laughing and having fun throughout the dinner, and they had more fun afterwards playing the Minute To Win It party games. Theses games were very silly but fun to participate in, from trying to eat a cookie off your forehead (without using your hands!) to target practice with ping-pong balls, to wearing pantyhose with a tennis ball stuffed inside from your head and using that to knock down pre-arranged targets on the floor.

It was absolute madness, but it was enjoyable madness. At least the girls all seemed to be enjoying themselves. After I (finally) managed to calm everybody down, it was time for our "white elephant" gift exchange (where every girl brought an unassigned gift, and each girl took turns picking out of the pile of unmarked presents in the middle.

Lorelai ended up with a few unique presents of her own, including this crutch (!) from her friend Anileah, who has tastes & interests almost as bizarre and inexplicable as my little girl's. Lorelai had been at Anileah's house recently and enjoyed playing with the old crutch. She was genuinely thrilled to be getting it as a present!

 

The only big disappointment for Lorelai regarding this party was that she was sick the day of the party! She had missed school the day before, and was still in recovery mode when everyone showed up. She did her best to be a good sport and still had fun, but I could tell she was very tired; she was glassy-eyed and stared off into the distance for long stretches of time. She was relieved to go to sleep when it was finally all over. We had contemplated moving the party to another day, but weren't sure if it would work, given our busy schedules. All in all, I felt a little bad hosting a party when the birthday girl was sick; hopefully Lorelai won't remember her discomfort, and only the fun, as the years go on.

After the gift exchange, everyone (finally) settled down, and watched the movie Into The Woods, occasionally singing along to the music! I was left trying to clean up the house for the rest of the night; these girls had made quite a mess! Overall, the party was a success, but I discovered this age group is truly exhausting, and I will be totally fine with not having another 12-year-old party for a while! They are big enough to make a lot of noise and have a lot of energy, and not quite mature enough to keep their drama in check. I'm not sure if I will survive being a mother to three teenage daughters.

The party wasn't quite the last part of the birthday celebration, though...Lorelai hit a few milestones at church as well. She was awarded the Faith in God award, for completing the Primary program, and she was officially recognized as a member of the "Beehive" class (twelve- and thirteen-year-old girls) in the Young Women's program. It is so hard to believe that I have a daughter in the church's Young Women's program now. It is a great program and I think she will really enjoy it, but I can't believe she is so mature and grown-up now. We are so proud.

One of the most exciting birthday presents for Lorelai was her first trip to visit the Tucson Temple as a patron. She received her limited-use temple recommend, which means she can now perform temple baptisms. For her first visit, Nathan and I attended with her; we were her "dates."

I can't describe how happy I was on this day. Attending the temple with one of my children was an amazing spiritual experience; I hope this visit will be the first of many for Lorelai, and I hope we can visit with her many more times in the future.

Twelve is an age that brings some big changes in a kid's life. In most places, boys & girls are considered able to babysit outside their homes once they turn twelve (in fact, Lorelai had her first-ever paid babysitting gig just a couple of weeks ago; our friends asked for her help and she did a great job!). It's also the age when kids leave the Primary program in our church and enter the youth program. Many people consider twelve-year-olds "teenagers." I don't think I'm quite ready to make that commitment yet; to my relief, Lorelai doesn't seem to consider herself a teenager yet either. And yet, things have definitely shifted in her life in ways that are subtle and complex.

We are still trying to figure out how to deal with some of those changes in a normal, healthy way. She has definitely been moody, withdrawn, and contrary in recent months; she's also been hard-working, responsible, giddy, and ambitious. It is hard to know how to treat Lorelai sometimes; she seems to change dramatically from day to day. I remember how turbulent early adolescence can be; I am afraid for her almost constantly sometimes. I remember being very lonely, scared, and depressed at times. Lorelai sometimes shows signs of feeling that way, but more often she has been in the ironic position of comforting me. She is sure to tell me she loves me frequently, and lets me know that she "has a good life," as she puts it. I am humbled by her desire to cheer me up; I can't believe I have a kid with such a level head. I hope she will keep it as she heads ever closer to adulthood, and I hope I can teach her everything she needs to know, and help her in whatever she needs.